The paradox of LOVE, you can also call it "the TRUTH of LOVE"

Why do some people live happily ever after? Why do some people remain single for life? Why do some people remain single for life when they really want to get married deep down inside their heart? Why do some couples date for ages but never get married? What are they waiting for? I sum them up into the following categories

1) The "Have never look at themselves in the mirror" type

A)This group of people overestimates themselves and expects too much. "I want a Cameron Diaz", "I want a Brad Pitt" This group keeps dreaming about marrying celebrities when in reality, they only possess average looks (Usually females) and are broke/ not that rich (Usually males). In the Japanese context, it will be a geek in Akihabara who is always dreaming of marrying Matsushima Nanako.

B) Still falls into the same category, a little bit more realistic than 1A). E.g. Women in their late 30s & still dreaming of marrying someone who is rich, good looking and treat you well. Most guys in that position would have chosen a younger lady, DREAM ON IT!

2) The workaholic type (The never have time for boyfriend or girlfriend type)

GF (Can be BF in some cases, if you are dating a career woman or someone who's working in the financial sector):"I have been waiting for you for 2 hours, where are you?"

BF/GF: Sorry I am still in the office, I have got to complete this proposal for a client (The same excuse every time)

This group of people usually works for the financial sector, especially investment banks or consulting firms. Dress smartly in suit & tie. Proudly exchange name cards with the company name "Goldman Sachs" on it. They work late and money is always on their mind. (Maybe not money but what Maserati/Porsche to buy). Usually is loaded with cash but has minimum time to spend.

3) The shy type (Usually men)

"I don't think that she will like me", "I am afraid that she will reject me","I am too shy, I am not the out-going type"

Oh give me a BREAK! Especially to the guys, please stand up and ask the woman who you are interested out. Just ask, it won't kill, and she won't bite you. And for those females who are running out of time please try to initiate the move as well because some guys are just dumb or as shy as you.

4) The WHAT IF Type

"What if we get divorced?", "What if he loses his job?", "What if he has an affair?", "What if we don't have enough money?", "What if my mum doesn't like him?", "What if my dog doesn't like him?", "What if XXXXX?" and so on and so forth

Come on, there is a unlimited number of possibilities that can happen in life. No one can predict the future though one can plan. It is good to make sure you cover everything/ every threat but it is IMPOSSIBLE. Instead of wasting brain cells and sacrificing your precious sleep thinking of the WHAT IFs why don't you think of the solutions and the preventions?

5)The final fantasy type (Think that they are playing the Final Fantasy in life)

"Oh that guy's so cool, so cute, he is the perfect man, he's the best!"(Same applies to guys) Making comments like that when you don't even know that person well. From my own personal experience as well as many of my friends' you will never know the person untill you seriously start dating him/her. Friends are different from boyfriends/girlfriends. We behave differently and expect different things from BFs/GFs

Instead of fantasizing and try to play the "Cloud" & "Rinoa" role in your real life, why not try to get to know the guy/gal first and see for yourself whether he/she is really that great?

6) The leave it to fate Type

"If God is willing", "If we are meant to be", "If fate allows". This group usually leaves the responsibility of finding Mr/Mrs Right to the divine, hoping that God will drop someone from heaven onto his/her lap one day. The danger is, the person who you are currently dating now maybe the Mr/Mrs Right but you insist on waiting for that DIVINE SIGN from Heaven, a reconfirmation that he/she is really the one.

Sometimes, humans are just too risk adverse, they want a 100% answer to everything. Maybe it's because of the education system we have been through that programmed us to think in that way. "Teacher, what's the correct answer?" when there are many correct answers to that question in real life. Some just don't want to make mistake and bear responsibility for their mistakes. "If I hear from God that means it's meant to be and won't be wrong" then the responsibility goes to God if something went wrong. Some didn't put in enough effort and ruined the relationship but blame it on fate.

7) The self-centred Type

"I want my life, to myself only", "Having kids will prevent me from climbing the corporate ladder", "Why get married? I like my life now", "You know anything can happen & we may break up someday","You know, in life you can never be sure", " Life will never be the same when you get married, you can't do the things you like/ used to enjoy"

Self-deception is a cruel thing. It blinds you from the truth. In short, this group of people love themselves too much to be willing to sacrifice their life for someone they love. (If they ever love him/her in the first place)

In sum, these are the types of people in LOVE that I can think of now (Excluding those happily married). Please contribute if you can think of any other types. Lastly, everyone is entitled to their own opinion and you can choose to disagree with what I wrote. If you are unhappy with my views, feel free to tell me directly and do not take it personally. Afterall, it's my BLOG and I am entitled to my OWN OPINIONS, or else what the hXXX would I create a blog for?
Have a great week ahead.

Are "Fines" necessary to make things work?

A Taiwanese asked me a question 5 years ago, "Laws are so strict in Singapore, don't you feel like you are living in fear since young?" His question trigger many thoughts in my mind and I began to wonder whether Singapore acheived the status which she is enjoying today because of all the "Fines".

5 years later, I found the answer in another city, Hong Kong. I wasn't in Singapore when the SARS epidemic hit Singapore but from my friends back home, I can tell that the epidemic hit Singapore's economy, especially the tourism industry very badly. Hong Kong and Guangzhou are 2 other cities that were affected badly by the epidemic and afew years later the same 2 cities are hit by another epidemic, Bird Flu.

When I was in Hong Kong last week, 5 sparrows were found dead at a park near the hotel which I was staying. The very next day, all the Flamingoes in the park were removed and I could see people wearing masks patroling and examining the park. I found out later from the news that the sparrows died of Type 1 Bird Flu, which doesn't infect humans. Thank God. Anyway I avoided all the chicken at the Chinese restaurants.

By now, you may have wonder what Bird Flu & SARS have to do with "Fines".
The answer is very simple. I saw "Fine" signs everywhere in Hong Kong & the amount of money they charge per fine is $HK 5000, which is exactly = to the "Singaporean Fine" amount.

This only goes to show that the fastest way to increase civic consciousness among Asians is to hurt their pockets. I won't be surprised to see "Fine" signs in China (I plan to visit the Great Wall in Oct 2007) Afterall Singapore became a "Fine" city because of all the "Fines" & it is a proven formula for the other Asian countries to follow.

New Year Resolution 2007

I am not a big fan of writing New Year Resolutions but this year I think it is essential to write it down so that I help myself stay focus. Too many wouldn't be a good idea so I will limit it to just 10.

Career
1) Read MJ Marketing Journal, Nikkei (日本経済新聞) everyday. At least look through headlines to keep track of what's happening & of course, my favourite Businessweek.
2) Finish all the Business books which I have bought last year.
3) Make it a point to think and ask whys during work. If need be, work a bit later & think of more value added stuff. Donald Trump "You got to know as much as you can about your trade"
4)Increase my financial IQ. Read more Financial Times and ask more questions regarding stocks and investing. Remain curious.
5) Look for business opportunities (My own business) and never give up. Always be creative.

Health
6) Sleep at latest 1230am everyday
7) Regular exercise, at least 3 times / week
8) Cut down on snacks (potato chips, doritos chips, 柿の種 etc)

Spiritual
9)Help out in Church whenever I can afford the time. Begin with little things such as clearing up and carrying chairs.
10)Learn to lean on God in times of trouble

LOVE
11) Try to find Miss Right and of course grow (myself) to become the Mr Right.

Dreams
*12) Visit the Great Wall of China in October 2007 with Raul. My dream is to visit all the World Heritages in the world during this lifetime.

Perceptions & Life

Life is all about perceptions.
It doesn't matter how good you are as long as others think that you are good enough.
That's why girls are willing to marry unemployed, penniless French artists BUT NEVER unemployed, penniless Asians! That's why people think that Harvard Grads are clever. That's why employers think that they should pay Harvard Grads more. Maybe they are indeed clever.

But would employers pay someone who didn't even graduate from High School as much as a Harvard grad? I don't think so. Harvard is a brand in itself and people pay for that brand/people who carry that brand (Harvard graduates in this case)

The same applies for people from different countries. French men are able to get all the girls they want because the brand name "France" is linked to perceptions such as "romantic", "gentlemen", "passionate", "good in bed", "knows how to treat a woman", "elegant", "high class", "cultured" etc

Let me emphasize again, Life is all about perceptions, you can be the most capable man in the world, or you can create the best product, but if people think you suck, you suck, period. Just ask the French guys in Ronppongi.